My New Year's Resolutions

  2012 is almost over.  Two more days of it and then it will be 2013.
  I never make resolutions because I just don't keep them past Jan. 2nd.
  But this year I have a few.

My Resolutions:

1. I want to be a better mother to my children.  I feel like I am a good mother but I know that there is room for improvement.  I love my kids with all my heart and they are the best part of me.
2. I want to be a better wife.  I'm good wife but maybe I can be a little better.
3. I want to be a better sister to my sisters and a better sister in-law to my sisters in-law.  
4. I want to be a better daughter to my father.
5. I want to be a better daughter in-law to my in-laws
6. I want to be an awesome grandmother.
7. I want to be a better nurse and be more compassionate and empathetic.  I want to be a better employee to my boss.
8. 1 want to laugh more
9. I want to have more faith
10. I want to be a better aunt to my all my nieces.
11. I want to be a better mom to all my furrbies.
12. I want to have more fun.
13. I want to learn how to relax more.
14. I want to be a better child of God.
15. I want to be more tolerant of other people.  Even the ones I want to smack up side the head with a brick.

I really just want to be a BETTER person.

I think everyone should want to be a better person.  It would make life so much more pleasant if that was what we all strived for.

I wish everyone a VERY HAPPY 2013!

What Christmas is really about!

  Christmas to me is really about family.  Tonight I spent the evening with my family.  I had all my chicks under one roof for a little while.  Jessi and Jimmy came over with the baby.  We had supper and just visited with each other.  Tomorrow will be so busy that I just wanted a little family time of my own.  It was really nice.
   Yesterday,  I spent the day at my sister's house with both my sisters, all of my nieces,  Jessi and Butterbean and let's don't forget my brother in-law Dan.  Besides Snookie the dog and Puma the cat he was the only male in the house.  My two boys opted not to go. 

  I haven't seen Olivia - my youngest sister - since she moved to Tennessee in May.  She is doing really well and she looked so good and happy.  Gone was the gaunt, hollow, hopeless look.  In it's place is a healthy, happy, hopefull look.  She has made great strides and she is well on her way to becoming the woman she deserves to be.







  I always have fun with my sisters.  Next to Ricky,  Lea is the only person that can make me truely laugh.  As with him,  she is the only person I can be 100% myself with.  You know,  in the course of my day I have to be so many different things to so many different people.  I am comfortable just being me with her and vice versa.



  Tomorrow we will spend the day at Ms. Alice's with other half of my family.   They are a good bunch of folks too and I enjoy being with them.



   So to me,  Christmas is not about material things.  It's about family.  Mine is the single most important aspect in my life.  The true meaning of Christmas is love and family.
   God sent his son Jesus to us out of love for us so that we could become part of His family.

  

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

To Lea's House we go..................

   Jessi, Butterbean and I went to my sister's house yesterday to see them and  pick up my dad.  Any time I am with my sister,  it's an adventure.  Nothing is ever normal when we are together and yesterday was no different. 
  Lea locked her keys in her car.  Not only did she lock her keys up in her car,  her spare key was in the car also.  Who does that?  Of course, it would be Lea.  So after a hour and a half of us trying to get into the car,  she decides to ask the neighbor guy to help.  He had a stout hanger that he used,  while we were using a flimsy one.  Thank you Chip for helping us!
  Then when I told daddy we were ready to go he decides then that he needed to smoke a blasted cigarette first.  All that time and he waits till I'm ready to go.  He knows that he is not allowed to smoke in  my car.
  She wanted me to take their cat Drizzy.  I have told her I couldn't have the cat but she kept insisting.  But when we got ready to leave the cat was MIA.  I think someone helped her hide.
  Finally, we are on the road.  Traffic on Gray Highway is horrendous.  If I could find a way to bypass Macon to get to Gray without going too far out of my way,  it would be a God send.  I really hate Macon.
  I love being around my sister.  She is my best friend and we have a good time together.  She makes me laugh. 
  I finally made it home, in one piece.
  As Ricky said it's always nice to go but NICER TO COME HOME.

 

Thanksgiving

 Today we went to Ms. Alice's for Thanksgiving.  We had so much food - there was enough to feed a small third world country.  And it was all good. 
  I love to cook.  It's kind of a hobby to me.  I don't know if I can cook good or not.  My family seems to like it and I haven't killed them yet.  But sometimes I feel like they tell it's good to keep from hurting my feelings. 
  That is, until last night!

  I made three pies.  An egg custard pie, and two pecan pies - one regular pie and one with molasses.  They looked so pretty too.  I let Ricky have a slice of the molasses pie.  He took a bite and had to spit it out.  I spit my bite out too.  It was horrible.  Lesson learned was don't cook with molasses.  The other two pies were devoured so I assume they were fit to eat.
  I have never made pecan pie before but I wanted one.  Ricky wanted me to buy one already made but I like making stuff from scratch.  So I found a recipe and made it.
  The older I get the more I miss things that my mama and granny made when I was coming up.  Mama always made pecan pie at Thanksgiving and Granny always made congealed salad at any family gathering.  I attempted to make that too!  It was edible but not as fluffy as I remembered.  I hae trying to cook with jello.  I have no luck with it whatsoever.
  I had been wanting a cooked banana pudding just like my Granny used to make so I found a recipe for it.  It wasn't hers but it came close.  It has pudding made from scratch along with a merengue topping, OOOOHHH,  good for my tummy.
  How I wish I had taken an interest in cooking way back when I could have learned alot from them.  But by the time I did,  my Granny had alzheimer's and my relationship with mama was strained.
  It's days like this that I miss them both, but especially my mama.  She could have told me what to do with that blasted pie.
  I had a great day and enjoyed everyone's commpany.  But the best part was I got to see my very own Beanie baby- Butterbean.  It was her first Thanksgiving.

New found Faith

   I was raised by a very strict baptist preacher,  my father.  He was very strict and took the Bible very literally.  Especially the part about sparing the rod spoils the child.  My dad only knew one form  punishment and that was to whoop our butts for any infraction mo matter how small or unintentional. 
  My dad was a good preacher but he was one of those hell-fire and damnation preachers.  And he was very dogmatic about it.  If you didn't believe that way he did then you were the one that was wrong.  My sisters and I have literally had the Bible beat into us.
  I was raised in the church.  Knew my hymns and Bible verses,  can still name all the books of the Bible by heart.  We went to church everytime the doors were open.  We went twice on Sunday and then again on Wednesday.  Never got a sick day, always had to be there.   You see, with my dad,  God and church came before family.
  Somewhere along the way,  I seemed to have lost my faith.  Well,  not really lost it,  just misplaced it.  I just don't think that God intended for a building and the people in it to be more important than your family.  I also don't beleive that one religion or denomination is more important to God over the others.  I mean baptists don't have a monopoly on heaven or God's love.
  When I married Ricky,  I found a freedom.  I didn't HAVE to go to church if I didn't want to.  It has become a habit not to go.  Then I stopped reading the Bible and eventually I even stopped praying.
  A few years ago,  God decided to remind me that I still needed him.  I mean we literally lost everything and had to start over.  Ricky lost his job, we lost our home.  He was out of work for almost 2 years.  And I started praying.  I began telling Ricky to be patient that God had something good in store for him.   I started believing it and so did he.  Finally afer months of praying and asking for God's will,  he was hired at Blue Bird.  He is very happy with his job.  He loves to weld.  He told me once that I had enough faith for both us.  Lea once said to me that God doesn't put more on you than you can handle and I replied back to that I was at my limit. Sometimes I felt like God was up there , looking down at me saying "HMMM,  she hasn't cracked yet,  let's see what else we can throw at her."
  I am back to reading my Bible and praying.  I can see God working daily in little things.  I post alot of bible verses on my facebook wall. Sometimes I see a verse that fits my life at that particular moment and I just have to share.  I still don't go to church.  Churches to me have become nothing more than a social club.  But I will work on this.
  So don't misplace your faith.  If you look and pay attenttion,  you can see God working.  You just have to know in your heart that He is.
  I have forgiven my dad.  After all the way I was raised helped to make me the person I am today.

A week from Hell

  Yeah, so this week has been a rough one.  Ricky has been sick all week.  I think he had the Flu but he wouldn't let me do a flu swab to find out.  You know you have to put a long q-tip up your nose and it feels like your brains are being scrambled.  So yeah, he wasn't up for that!  But, he is better today!  He did pay me a compliment today.  He sd " You know,  you are a tough old bird"  and I asked what he meant by that and he sd " When you wake up sick or not feeling good or hurting,  you just get on up and get dressed and go on about your business and just work through it.".  It's just what I do.
  We were super busy at work also.  And that always makes for a long week.  But it is a good thing to be busy -  not good that people are sick  but you know sick people are our business.
  Wednesday night on the way home,  I had a blow out.  I was still in Peach County.  It was dark and almost 7:oopm.  I pulled over and called Ricky.  He was 40 minutes away.  It was dark and scarey.  I was trying really hard to concentrate on not being afraid.  You know that's how bad things happen to people.  I got to thinking that I needed a weapon but all I had was a buck knife on my key change that had only an inch blade.  Ricky asked me what I was gonna do with that little blade and I told him that if you juge in the right place you can do some damage.  Yesterday I found a 4 inch pocket knife that my son put in there so I would have something bigger if I needed it.
  I am glad this week is over.  We had a good day today at work.  Dr. Giles took us out to lunch at Cheddars to celebrate Glenna and Victoria's birthdays.  It was good to get away and just enjoy each others company.
  So let's just pray that next week is better.

The other "man"

  I have two men in my life and I love both with all my heart.
  The first one is of course my husband Ricky who is the very best of husbands.  God truly blessed me with a good man.  Of course, God blessed him with a good woman!
  The other "man" in my life happens to be my son.  He will be18 tomorrow which officially ends his days as a minor.  This is bittersweet for me.
  We have raised a good boy.  He doesn't get into trouble, doesn't drink or do drugs.  He is home when he is supposed to be.  He has a big heart and will do most anything for you.  Now don't get me wrong, he is not perfect by no means, but neither am I.
  He is just like his daddy.  In looks and personality.  So much so,  they tend to knock sparks off each other at times.  But they have a good relationship.
  I love both the men in my life with all my heart. They both spoil me rotten.  They take really good care of me and I try really hard to take good care of them too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL SON!

Cold Little Me!

One of my most cherished belongings is my heated mattress pad that Ricky gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago.  I love it.  To me, it's better than an electric blanket!
 You see, I stay cold all the time.  I don't feel the heat like normal people do.  If you feel 60 degrees,  I am usually at 35-40 degrees.  I am almost always bundled up.  I hate going to the grocery store cause it's cold in there.  I sleep with a sheet, a comforter, a blanket and a throw blanket.
 Before we moved into this house,  we had electric heating.  This house has gas.  Ricky and Chris messed up when they taught me how to turn the gas heaters on!!
  Chris gave me a little fan/heater that I use at work in my office.  He gave it me for Christmas one year so that I could be could be warm when I was at my desk.
  I haven't even broke a sweat in about 5 years. 
 I am even cold in the summer time.  I mean when everyone else is pouring sweat,  I am comfortable.  If I ever say it's hot,  it's HOT.
  But even being cold all the time,  I love the winter.  It's jsut my favorite time of the year.  I think it's because I get to wear my sweaters and long sleeves and not feel like a freak.
 Both Ricky and Chris are just the opposite.  They are hot natured.  Makes for interesting times at my house.


 

MY BUTTERBEAN

 Day One

 It's hard to believe that my granddaughter will be 4 weeks old tomorrow!!  It seems like it was yesterday that she was making her grand entrance!  My,  how time flies when you are having fun.

        Day 4

 

 

 

 

 

 Day 11 With her Papi

 

 

 

 With Unca Kissyfer

Almost 4 weeks!

WITH HER MAMA!!

 A sight  I never could have imagined seeing

 

 

 

 

 

 with her Mimi

 

 

It's amazing how one little baby can bring so much joy and happiness to your life.  I think everyone needs a BUTTERBEAN. 

 

 

 

Childhood memories

Most of my fondest childhood memories are of my grandmother or rather Granny.  From the time I was born up until we moved to Macon County,  I had always lived at least within walking distance to her.  I was 15 when we moved here and I really missed my granny.  I wasn't a mama's or daddy's girl,  I was a granny's girl!  I loved my Granny and I still do.  She has been gone to heaven for 6 years and I still miss her sorely.  I was the first grandchild.
  My granny always had snacks.  Nilla wafers or graham crackers and peanut butter, little debbie cakes.  She really liked the candied orange slices.  She would roast peanuts/pecans in the oven.  When I wanted a snack, daddy would tell me to eat a piece of fruit.  I'd sneak off and go to her house and get a real snack.
  She was also an exraordinary cook!  Good lord,  that woman could cook. I what would give for one of biscuits right now!  She would cook them in a dutch oven on top of the stove, to keep from heating up the house.  They would just melt in your mouth. 
  The one thing I miss most is her banana pudding!  She made it from scratch.  It had a merenque on top.  It was the bomb.  It was manna from heaven.  I mean, God has her up there making banana pudding for him.
  Well, guess what!  I found a recipe for a cooked banana pudding.  I tried it out today and it ain't quite like Granny's but it's oh so close.  It made me think of her.

  My granny was an amazing woman.  She raised 8 children virtually on her own.  She also had a hand in the raising of most of her grandchildren.  She had a laugh like no other.  She was happy with whatever she had.  She always saw the good in everyone, even when there wasn't much good to see.  And she never met a stranger.  When you went to her house, you were offered something to eat and a glass of tea.  It was always best to go ahead and take the tea cause she wouldn't let it alone until you did.  She buried two husbands and 1 baby.  She loved her family and she loved the Lord.  I know she is up there with my Mama and they are having a ball together.
  I miss you Granny!

 

Lazy Sundays

Sundays are made to be lazy!  I mean it's a day of rest.  Even the Bible says that you should rest on Sunday or the sabbath.
  I get to stay in my pajamas.  I catch up on my reading, watch tv or just goof off on the computer.  I get to spend precious time with my #1 true love.  I spend some time with the other "man" in my life, my soon to be 18 year old son Chris. Will he really be 18 this month?  Can't believe it.
  It's a day for football - only sport I like to watch.  Me and Chris will argue over who is the best team  Of course the 49ers are,  the Falcons suck!
  I play with my furbies.  I love all them.  Enjoy being in the yard with them and watching them play.
  Now I get to add spending time with my Butterbean.  I didn't get to see her this weekend because we have had a virus here and I didn't want her to get sick.
  Sometimes I cook a big meal.  I love to cook and I think I'm good at it.  My family says that I am but you know they are supposed to say that. :)
 The best part of Sunday right now is my show comes on Hell On Wheels.  It sucks that tonight is the finale.
  I hope everybody has had a great day today.  Tomorrow is Monday and we get to start all over again!

Have a great week!
Hugs and kisses

Best week ever!!!

Okay, so this was the best week ever!  I finally got to get Butterbean in my arms.  And let me tell you,  it is an undescribable feeling.  She is just so sweet and perfect.  I can't wait to watch her grow and learn about her world.  She is the center of mine.  She is 5 days old today and she already knows that whatever she wants, she just has to ask her Mimi and it's hers!

 Jessi is a good little mama too!  She is doing so well with her.  It just amazes me.  I am so proud of her!

My little family is growing and it just fills my heart to bursting.  I am so looking forward to the future!

Memorable Days!

  There are 6 days in my life that stand out as the most memorable days of my life:

1.  The day I realized that I was in love with Ricky Hall!  That was a earth shaking day for.  When we first met neither one of us liked the other one and one day we looked at each other and saw something different.  I knew the minute I first kissed him that I would spend the rest of my life with him.
2. The day he asked me to marry him.  I waited 5 long years to hear him ask me that all important question.  Every Christmas and birthday I would drop hints that you would have to be an idiot not to get.  Finally the one Christmas when he asked me what I wanted,  I just told him to get me what he wanted me to have.  He gave me a stuffed lion hand puppet and had a ring box stuffed up inside of it.  Very memorable
3. The day we married.  I had waited on that day for so long.  You see I have loved that man something fierce! He is my heart and I know he loves me! He is my soul mate.
4. The birth of my daughter.  She came almost a whole year to the day that we were married.  I fell madly in love with her.  She was just a little piece of heaven that God sent to me.
5. The birth of my son.  I also fell madly in love with him.  Another little piece of heaven
6. Today - the birth of my granddaughter Elizabeth Faye.  She was born today at 4:24PM today. She weighs 7lbs and 1 oz and was 20 inches long.  She has a head full of black hair and a great set of lungs.  I was allowed to help with the delivery.  Actually all I did was hold her right leg up and count to ten while she pushed.  That was truly an honor and a memory I will treasure for the rest of my life.  I actually witnessed her entrance into this world.  It was awesome!  Nothing compares to that!  It's just indescribable.  I squaled like a baby when she came out and the doctor just hugged my neck.  She was so sweet.  The Nurse Midwife that deliver Elizabeth was the same the one that helped deliver Chris almost 18 years ago!

  The only draw-back to today was that my mom was not here to share in it.  But I know she was there in spirit,  I could feel her there.  Ms. Alice and Mr. Rick came and was able to hear the whole delivery.  She had called my phone and the nursery nurse thought  she had silenced it but she really answered and they heard everything that went on.  I think it was meant for them to be a part of it.

A Better Weekend

 Ok, so my weekend was considerably better than my week!,  I haven't killed any poor animals since Friday,  unless you count the piggies on Angry Birds!
  I didn't even leave my house until today when I went to the grocery store. 
  I bought some books for my Kindle that I have been wanting.  Got 2 of them read.
  I took a 4 hour nap yesterday.  I don't nap on Sunday cause I don't want my night sleep messed up!
  My boys got along for the most part.  I did cook them breakfast yesterday.  We had a sausage, ham, scrambled eggs and hashbrown casserole.  I don't usually cook breakfast.  It's usually cereal or a poptart!
  I played with kitties some.  They are getting so big. 
  I still don't have Butterbean,  but I guess she is her mother's child and will do things in her own time and way.
  Tomorrow starts another week and hopefully it will be good.  I don't usually complain about my week but boy was it a rough one.
  Hope everyone has a good week!

  HUGS and KISSES

Audra

A sucky week!

  This entire week was a week from HELL at work!  All I can say is THANK GOD it's over for the week.  I don't usually talk about work, due to HIPPA laws and such but this week was rough.
  Not only were we extremely busy but had computer issues all week.  We also have had some staff changes.
  Thursday is my "Whoo Hoo!" day.  And man, was I ready to do that whoo hoo!.  We had computer problems all day and finally about 5 o'clock we lost power.  We lost our lights, computers and phone!  So we got off from work a little early today
  Hopefully, next week will be better.  We can hope and pray, can't we?

A DAY FOR REMEMBERING!

  Chris asked me this evening if I remembered what I was doing on 09/11/2001.  And I replied "I remember it like it happened this morning".  9/11 is a place in time that will remain indelible in our hearts and minds.  It's just not something that will ever fade away.
  While I didn't know anyone that died that terrible, awful day,  my heart broke for all the people lost that day.  That is just something that is not supposed to happen at home. 
    I felt helpless!  As a nurse,  I wanted to be there to help those people.  I wanted that desperately.  I am not by no means a trauma nurse but I could have helped in some way.
  Then I got pissed!!  I mean,  our country is not perfect by no means but it is our country!  Don't mess with us.

    Well, one of our monsters is gone, but there will be more in his place.  But, we can't be afraid to live.  If we live in fear, then the monsters have won.
  Alot of heroes were made that day.  I am sure they don't see themselves as heroes.  But they are heroes still the same.  The military, firemen and policeman have my utmost respect.  They do a job that they get paid precious little for but they still so up for work everyday so that the rest of us can rest easy.
 So today, I did my remembering.  I said a prayer for the fallen, survivors and families of both.  I also said a prayer for our country.  It is so sad that it takes a national tragedy to bring us together, but we can't get it together any other time.
  Well, that's enough rambling for now! I apologize for being maudlin, but it's been a maudlin kind of day!
  Where were you?

A bittersweet day!

  Tomorrow is my baby girl's baby shower!  I am so excited, it's like waiting for Christmas morning!My sisters in-law,  Ginger and Ami are helping me with the shower along with my sister Lea and Ms. Alice.  It's gonna be so much fun!
  There is a glitch though.  I wish with all my heart that my mama could be here to share in all the joy, happiness and fun. Elizabeth or rather Butterbean would be her first great grandchild ( the same for Ms. Alice also).  It's at times like this that I miss her even more than usual.  I can feel her spirit though and I know that she would be tickled for Jessi.
  Tomorrow is going to be a great day but also bittersweet!
  I love you Mama and I miss you with all my heart!

A loyal Fan

  NFL regular season starts on Sept, 5th and I can't wait!  I love me some NFL!  I don't like baseball because it is too slow and basketball bores me.
  My favorite team is the San Fransico 49'ers and has been since 1984.  They have had some rough years but they are on the rise again. 

  I believe that a true fan stands behind their team whether they when or lose.  And I am a true fan.  They were so close to going to the SB last year.  They came from way behind to having a winning season.  This year they will get the Vince Lombardi Trophy,  I just know they will.
  Joe Montana is one of the best quarterbacks and Jerry Rice is one of the best recievers in NFL history.  Too bad they are retired.  I have seen their 49'ers be down in the last few minutes of the last quarter and they make a comeback to win the game.  I have seen Joe Montana throw a hail mary all the way down the field and Rice catch it to make a touchdown.

 

  Steve Young was another good quarterback for the 49'ers.  I have a Steve Young jersy that Ricky bought me years ago.
  I still have  a 49'ers windbreaker that he bought also.
  I can't wait for the season to get underway and see what my boys will do.  But whether they win or lose,  I will always be a loyal fan.

A whole lot of stupid

  I don't usually talk about politics and this is really not about politics.  It's about a stupid, dumb, ignorant idiot that just happens to be a politician.
  Todd Akin should be tied, blind folded and put in a room and then raped.  And then, he needs to be asked if that was legitimate enough for him.
  As a woman,  I am greatly appalled at his comments.  I just can't believe the amount of stupid that just fell out of his mouth.  I mean really!  This guy has 2 brain cells, and they ain't working.  His mama needs to slap the teeth out of his mouth.

  I cannot fathom the pain and trauma that women who have been raped go through.  Mr. Aken is only minimizing this horrendous act.  In my world NO means NO!  And no one should take what is only hers to give.
  And what about children that have been raped?  In what universe is that ever legitimate?  Has the man lost his damn mind.
  And then he has the nerve to apologize and say that he is not dropping out of his race. The GOP did ask him to resign but they shouldn't have asked,  they should have demanded and pulled their backing.  I just hope the voters in his state are smart enough to get rid of this jackass.
  I am conservative in my beliefs.  But I think that all politicians are liars and theives.  They do not care about us.  They all have a hidden agenda.  And we are the ones that suffer for it.
Well,  I could go on and on and on about this but I guess I will stop rambling.  I just wish the village didn't have so many idiots. 


 

Life with Daddy

  Yesterday,  I went to see my dad at the nursing home.  I hadn't been in a couple of weeks because the last time I went we had a very heated arguement.  You see,  he doesn't like to play by the rules sometimes. 
  The Oaks has implemented a new smoking policy and residents can only smoke between the hours of (i think) 9am and 7pm for safety reasons.  My dad did not like this one bit and to top it off,  they confiscated his lighter.  Well, in a bit of a temper tantrum, spoiled brat fit and a little bit of rebellion he snuck in to the kitchen and lit the stove and lit his cigarette and commenced to smoking in the kitchen until he was caught by the staff.  I got a call from the administrator and he explained to me the smoking policy, the reasons behind it and what my dad had done.  It was like getting a call from the principal at school when the kids were in trouble at school.  Well, the confronation between us was not a good one.  But,  I did get to use a line I have waited a lifetime to use.  He said that the staff was smoking and I got to say " I don't care what they were doing, you were caught breaking the rules".  How many times has he said almost the same thing to me?  How many times have you heard it from your parents?  I finally just had to walk away.  Both of us were too angry to have a decent discussion.  Besides,  he doesn't get it and I suspect he never will.
  I had been avoiding him and I know that sounds bad but until you know what Lea and I have been up against you just won't understand.  I love my dad but he has the ability to make me madder than anyone else on the face of the planet.  My dad can be very selfish and self centered and tends to think that everything is "owed" to him. Everything that is wrong or has gone bad is always someone else's fault.
  Well, anyway, I bit the bullet and went to see him.  He was apologetic, but I take this at face value. He's very good at manipulating people and telling people what he thinks they want to hear.  Lea and I are just immune to it.
  So, ya'll pray for us - Me, Lea and my dad.  Cause God knows I need it.  I am going to endeavor to not let him get under my skin and do what I need to do so that one day I can say that I tried my best to take care of him.
  This is just a glimpse!
  Hugs and Kisses!

I am not a material girl

   I am not a materialistic person by no means.  I would rather my husband stop on the side of the road and pick me flowers than buy me long stemmed roses.  In fact my favorite flowers are what I call "redneck roses".  You know, the pink and white ones that grow wild on the side of the road and in ditches.  I always wanted him to dig me up an whole bush to plant in the yard, have three of them in my yard now.
  I have never been a material girl.  It's not about things.  I like nice things buts it's just stuff.  And it's not the important stuff.  The important stuff is my family and their happiness.
  The past few years,  I have learned to be frugal.  I mean,  I have learned that I don't have to have the name-brand of everything I buy.  Most generics or store brands work really well.  And now that I dont' have to pinch pennies quite so tight,  I am still trying to be frugal.  Ricky says that I am the only person that he knows that can take $30 to the grocery store and come home with enough groceries for the week,  might not be steak but it's food.
  Last week, when we went to Walmart,  Ricky went his way and I went my way.  I tend to  shop better that way.  Ricky and I had talked about getting a new computer.  I had been fussing about mine because it's sooooooo slow,  it's ten years old, but it still works.  I had been eyeing a laptop at Walmart and we had discussed getting it but I had decided that it could wait.  Ricky had other plans.  He took everything out of the buggy, went to the electronics department and got the laptop.  Meanwhile,  I was having an anxiety attack.  Seriously!  I was having palpitations, shortness of breath and my chest was tight and I broke out in a cold sweat.  I was STRESSIN'.  We had the money but all I could thing of was the money.  We had it but I am just not used to "impulse" shopping.
  But anyway,  I got over my anxiety attack and I love my new laptop.
   I'm gonna have to be carefull of what I tell my husband what I want from now on.

A lover of books!

  I just finished reading "Fifty Shades Of Grey" and I have to admit that I don't get what all the hoopla is about.  In fact,  I got really bored with it and the only reason I finished it was because I spent money on it.
  When people make a big deal out of something like a book, I am one of those people that have to read it for myself to see why it's so controversial and I am sorry but I just don't get it!  Maybe I'm missing something.
  A few years ago, it was the same way about "The Davinci Code".  People were saying you shouldn't read it, it's bad , it will make you question your faith.  Again,  had to read it myself and all I came away with was it was a good murder mystery.  My faith still intact!  I am a firm believer that if your faith is strong to begin with something like a work of fiction can't shake it.  I can tell fact from fiction.
  They are just books!  A product of someone's imagination.  Fiction.
    I am a lover of books.  There is nothing like the written word.  Reading is my time out!  I can get lost for hours in book.  Well written books are the best.  I read most anything.  I love going to the book store.  I love the way books smell, I like holding them in my hands, I like the sound the page makes when you turn it.  That being said,  I also love my Kindle.
  That's just my opinion and you know what they say about those, everybody has one.
 

I am so in love!!!!!!!

  I just realized that I am so in love with someone I haven't even met yet.  Yeah, it's Butterbean.  Jessi had another ultrasound today and brought me a picture of her.  You can see her little face, oh I just want to shower it with kisses.  It just amazes me that someone who is not even completely made yet has already wrapped me around her tiny little fingers.  I see something and I say "Yep, Bean's gonna need that".  That is going to be one spoiled rotten little girl.  She already is!
  The name Butterbean came about before we knew that she was a girl.  I didn't want to call her "it" all the time and I told Jessi that she was no bigger than a butterbean at the time and it just kind of stuck.
  I am already planning all the fun we are going to have.  Strawberry pickin in the spring, blueberries in the summer.  Going to Brown's for peach icecream. Her chasing the kitties around the house and trying to use poor scoot has a pony. Telling secrets and making plans like best buds.  I want to be someone she will love to be around and will be excited about going to Mimi's house.  And of course don't forget the sweets!

  When Jessi first told me she was pregnant,  I was very apprehensive about it and expressed this to her but it took me about 5 minutes to get over it.  I'm still worried but why fight it, it's gonna be too much fun.

Animal Psych Ward

   Sometimes I think I run a mental hospital for animals.  All five of my animals have psych issues and I say this with love.
   Maggie, I think is bipolar with homocidal tendencies.  She's also very jealous.  She thinks that Ricky belongs only to her and she is out to get rid of me.  To her I am the "other" woman.  She is all the time running between my feet trying to trip me down.  I told Ricky that if I die in my sleep, look to Maggie.

  Scoot has PTSD.  You see, she had one set of puppies and hasn't been able to carry another set.  She wants so badly to be a mom.  She thinks that Smokey is her baby now ( at first she was afraid of him).  She even lets Smokey "nurse" on her.  Talk about disturbing!

  Monkey AKA Stoner Kitty has a drug addiction to catnip and abandonment issues.  When he was very small his mama got ran over by a four-wheeler.  The person that found him, gave him to Jessi and I was told "Oh yeah, he can eat moist cat food".  Poor baby was starving to death when I realized that he was only sucking the juice off of it.  Well, he has more than made up for that.  Monkey doesn't put his face in the water bowl,  he dips his paw in the water and drinks water off of it.  He will get next to a stuffed animal or blanket and start sucking on it and kneading it.

  Smokey has an identity issue,  he thinks that Scoot is his mama.  He tries to nurse off of her.  He will rub up against her until she lays on her side so that he can get to her boobs and will go to town.  Again, disturbing!

  Rocky has an eating disorder.  He wants to eat all the time.  Every time one of goes into the kitchen,  here comes meowing to get more food.  It doesn't matter if he has just ate, he wants to eat again.  If you have ever seen my animals,  they do not do without food.

  Well,  no matter what their issues are, they are my babies and I love them all.  When I get up in the mornings I tell them all good morning and all 5 get a scratch from me before I leave for the day!  They all seem happy to see me when I get home in the evening. Well except maybe Maggie ;).

  Ricky and I have an anniversary today!  We have been married for 22 years.  We are so blessed to have each other.  I love that man with every cell of my being.  Next to my children,  he's the single most important thing in my life.  I don't know what I would do without him.  He's my rock, my hero and my best friend.
  Like I have said before, it hasn't all been sunshine and roses.  But I wouldn't trade the rainy days for nothing in the world because you can't have flowers without rain and sunshine.  We don't have a perfect life but our imperfect life works for us.  Perfect is boring anyway.
  There are times when I want to chop his head off and I am more than sure that I have made him feel the same way.  He can be a little pigheaded and stubborn at times but that's I something that I love about him.
  We've been through alot in the last 22 years,  We've raised to beautiful children.  We've had some major storms that we have weathered.  We've lost everything and had to start over.  But we made it through together.
  Sometimes,  when I am having a bad day or things are just not going my way all I need is to just hear his voice and I know that everything will be ok.  You see, he's my knght in shining armor.  True his armor may be a little tarnished and we may have had to put down his noble stead but he still always saves my day.
  I love you RICKY HALL with all my heart plus some.  Here's to 42+ more years together.
 Love you Dude!

  Today, my baby girl turned 21.  It seems like yesterday we were bringing home from the hospital.  Time has just flown by.  Now, she is about to become a mom all on her own.  It just fills my heart to bursting.
  Jessi and I have had a some what tumultuous relationship over the past few years.  Some of that is my fault and I claim it.  My job was and still is being her mother.  That's number one on my list of priorities.  I don't think I failed in that area,  I just don't think I succeeded as well as I could have.  I have never been one to sugar-coat anything when it came to my kids.  I have never (nor will I ever) pretended I was happy with something they have decided just so they can feel good about it.  I'm sorry, I'm just not made that way. Both my kids know this about me and have resigned themselves to that fact..  Jessi has commented on the fact that I am brutally honest.  It's something they can always depend on.
  With that being said,  I will say that our relationship is headed in the right direction.  I feel that we are growing closer.  It was getting better before we found out about Butterbean,  but she has helped and she is not even here yet. I love my daughter and I think that she will make a great mom.  And I can't wait to get Butterbean in my arms.

 I love you Jessalina with all my  heart and more!!!!!

  

A HUMBLE FAN

   Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a very huge George Strait fan.  My favorite songs are "Amarillo By Morning", " The Chair", "Carrying your Love with Me", "Cross My Heart",  I mean the list is endless. It's hard to pinpoint just one that I like most out of all of them.  I would just listen to him if he just stood there and hummed.  He and I have breakfast most every morning on my way to work. He is just great.
  I love country music but I am not a big fan of today's country music.  I mean you just about cannot tell the difference between country and "POP".  I mean you are either one or the other.
  I grew up listening to '70's and '80's  music and that's what I like.  There is a station, 104.9, that plays that era of country music and I love it. 
  My niece, Taylor, got see George a few years ago.  I am still very jealous of that fact.  She took some pictures and she picked one out and told her mama that she wanted to give it to me.  I have it in my office at work right along with all the ones I have of my family, mixed right in. It's the one posted here.
  Well, enough of my ramblings for now.
  All Hail King George!!!

  My mama has been very much on my mind lately.  I mean I always have her on my mind but more so in the last few days.  I think it's because I have been going through pictures and have found some of her.  There are no words to describe how much I miss her.  I wish with all my heart I could her voice just one more time.  If God would give me just five minutes to talk to her, I would tell her how much I love her and how much I need her and how much I miss her.

  I have very fond memories of my mama from early childhood.  You see, I was an only child until I was 9 years old.  I was my mama's world and yes I was very spoiled. But all that changed one day when I came home from school and she asked me if I was ready for a brother.  I told her only if it was an indian brother.  There was this guy that went to our church that was a Native American Indian and he had 3 little boys about my age and I loved being around them.  So I thought if I was going to get a brother I may as well put my order in for an Indian brother.  Sounded logical to me.  But alas, she brought home a squirmy, wormy girl and she wasn't even an indian. (well technically she is, our daddy's grandmother was a full blooded cherokee). But long story short, I wasn't the center of my mama's world any more.  To my little 9 year old mind, she didn't have time for me any longer.  Then to make matters worse she had another one -  a another girl.still no indian brother. 
   I miss my mama.  She as a good mama.  Maybe not to everybody's standard, but to mine she was. She loved her family especially her grandchildren  She knew all of them except Katie Faye.  I bet she visits Katie in her dreams.

  I love you Mama and I miss you!!!
 HUGS AND KISSES!

 Two of my most favorite parts of summer are fresh-out-of-the-garden tomatoes and blueberries.  There is nothing better in the world than a "mater" samich. And you can only get a good one in the summer time.  The other day, right before lunch, one of our patients brought us a bunch of tomatoes to the office and I told him " You gonna make me go get a loaf of light bread".  Well, that's what I did and I sure enjoyed not one but two mater samiches.  Oh, so good.  The tomatoes in the grocery store just don't come close to being as good.
  I had been invited by Mr. Jack Doles to come to his house and pick blueberries (my other favorite part of summer).  Jessi and I went today and picked us some.  We picked over 2 gallons of them and ate almost as much.  We had a wonderful time.  I can't wait until I can take Butterbean to pick blueberries and strawberries.  I am already envisioning the fun we are going to have.
  I haven't decided what to do with my blueberries, but I'm sure something good will come to mind.  That is if we don't eat them all first.
  Oh, he also gave me some tomatoes and I think we will have BLT's tomorrow for lunch (or maybe just the T).

  I have a nice little drive to and from work, from Montezuma to Fort Valley.  On my way home this evening,  I got to thinking about fortunate I am that I live in South Georgia.  We have grass fields, corn fields, cotton fields, pecan orchards, peach orchards and woods.  I mean the woods, not forests because this is the south and we have woods not forests.  I just can not imagine living in a place that doesn't have grass and trees.  I like living in the "country".  A little over a year ago, we moved to "town" but it's still the country.  We live in quiet neighborhood and we have good neighbors.  Montezuma is a nice place to live for me. Life is just different here, a little slower pace than living in a big city.  Yeah, we have to drive 30 miles to get to decent grocery store or a good restuarant,  but that's ok.  I love it here. I have lived in  Macon County longer than I have lived anywhere else, since I was 15.  I haven't always loved it though.
  When I was 15, my dad became the pastor to Faith Baptist Church in Oglethorpe.  For a while, we drove down every Sunday and Wednesday for services.  I was ok with this arrangement.  But my dad had other plans.  He decided to move us here, against my will of course.  You see,  all my life I had live within walking distance of my grandmother and now he was taking me away from her.  I fought him hard, and begged him to let me live my Granny but he won and I had to come here.  I thought I was coming to the end of the world.  I was leaving my Granny and all my friends and going to a place where I only knew a handful of people.   I hated it.  But before long I started making some friends.  I met my future husband ( he and I really didn't care other when we first met but that's a story for another day).  Needless to say we fell in love and got married and started our family and my parents moved back to Byron.  The one that fought the hardest to not move here stayed behind.  It's been 29 years so I consider myself a true Macon County resident. 
  I wouldn't trade life in a small town for nothing in the world.  Everybody knows everybody,  knows me or Ricky.  I can't tell you how many times I have been called Mrs. Rick.   People have a hard time remembering my name but they know I belong to him..  I used to tell my kids that they needed to be careful who they messed up in front of because they would be surprised at who I know and who knows me.  I told them that their mama knew people they would never believe she knew. 
  I feel very fortunate that God has placed me here.  I am a firm believer that God puts us where he wants us and this is my place,  my little corner of the world.
  Well, that's enough of my rambling for now.
  HUGS and KISSES

   Tomorrow is Father's Day.  It's is so hard to believe that June is half over already.  It seems like last month was just Christmas.  It will be Christmas in just a minute.
  I was thinking of the "Dads" in my life: Ricky, Mr. Rick and my dad.  Mr. Rick is an awesome dad.  He is one of the most clever people I know.  He loves his children, grandchildren and children in-law.  I think he is a very wise man and he is a good example to his son on how to be a great dad.

 Ricky is a great dad also.Our kids still think that the sun rises and sets on him and that he can fix anything that is wrong all they have to do is say "Daddy......................." He is the problem fixer.  They just don't know that I am the one telling him how to to do the fixing ;)  I couldn't have asked GOD for a better father for my children. 

  My dad is another story.  Our relationship has been very strained but it is slowly getting better.  I am working on my issues with my dad and I am trying to have a better relationship with him.  I love my dad and I think that deep down he loves me and my sisters.

  I was trying to figure out what I was going to get my father for Father's Day and couldn't really come up with anything.  So last night I decided to go pick him up from the Oaks and bring him to my house for a little while.  I called the nursing home and told the nurse to tell him that I would be picking him at 11:30 and he needed to be ready.  I didn't talk directly to him because I didn't want to give him the chance to come up with an excuse for not coming with me.  When I got there, I was cocked and loaded for an argument.  But when I entered his room the first words to me were "Are you ready".  I told him I was and he got in his wheelchair and we came to the house.  We stopped at McDonald's and got lunch and came home and ate.  We had a very good visit.  This was the first time that he had been to my new house.  He seemed to really enjoy his visit.  Jessi came over and she rode with us back to the Oaks.  Of course we had to stop at Brown's for peach ice cream.  I told Daddy that this was his Father's day present and he seemed really happy with it.
  So I hope all my dads have a great Fathers Day
   HUGS AND KISSES
 

  Well, Monkey is back to talking to me now.  He jumped up  in my  lap purring and layed down.  You see, ever since I got the new kittens, he hasn't spoken much to me.  I would try to love on him and pet him but he was not having any of that.  I guess being true to  his gender ( you know the one with the Y chromosome) it had to be his idea.  The men in my life are like that,  hard headed and stubborn.  But you know, I wouldn't have them any other way.  Me, Maggie and Scoot are really the ones in charge,  we just let the boys think that they are.  It's more fun that way.

  Smokey and Rocky have adjusted well.  They run around like they own the place.  Smokey is doing great despite his issues with his tail.  When ever he see's me sitting in my chair at the computer he thinks he is supposed to be in my lap.  Rocky just loves having fun.

We had a good weekend.  Ricky and I watched the cutest movie today "Mr. Popper's Penquins".  When I asked him to watch it with me, he reluctantly said ok - he thought it was an animated movie.  He was relieved that it was a live action movie.  He says that I am the only adult that likes cartoon movies.  This movie was about a man who had lost himself and he inherited some penquins that helped him to find himself.   A real feel good movie.  Jim Carey starred in it and you know it was funny.

Well, I hope everyone has a good week.
HUGS AND KISSES

  Mr. Rick and Ms. Alice celebrated their 47th wedding anniversary today.  I think that is awesome.  I called to tell them Happy Anniversary and had a good talk with Ms. Alice and yes I talked to Mr. Rick too.  I have good in-laws and I hope that they feel like they have a good daughter in-law.  We haven't always seen eye to eye but they have always been good to me, sometimes better to me than my own parents were.  They have always made me feel that I was one of their own and I have been in it so long I must be!
  Ricky and I have had a pretty rotten last couple of years.  Mr. Rick and Ms. Alice was right there by our sides helping out however we needed them to and however they could.  That really means alot to me.  I remember telling Ricky one time that he was very fortunate in the fact that outside of me  he had his family to care about him.  You see I felt I had no one other than him and my sister Lea that cared about me.  And he looked me in the eye and said you do too,  you have my family and they care and love you very much. I have felt that love more in the last couple of years not because they have helped us but because they really, genuinely care.  That's just them, that's how they roll.  And even though things are on the way up for us,  they still call and check on us just to see if we are alright.  She even calls on a land line during the middle of a lightening storm to make sure we are alright.
  Mr. Rick and Ms. Alice I love you both.  You are very dear to me.  Thank you for giving me Ricky -  you made him just for me.. Thank you for giving me your love.
  HUGS and KISSES

  I had a day off Friday and I got to spend some time with my son Chris.  I don't get a chance to spend alot of time with him and I think we had a great time.  At least I did.   When I got up, he was still asleep.  I left and went to the grocery store and Harvey's didn't have any sourdough bread.  When I got back home,  I woke him and asked if he wanted to go to Perry to Kroger with me and of course he did.  We drove all the way to Perry for Sourdough bread.  We talked and laughed to whole way there and back.. Something we don't do enough of!  When we got home and I had began cooking, the thought hit me that we could have just went to the Mennonite Restuarant to get the bread.  I mentioned this Chris and he sd that we could have but we wouldn't have had as much fun as we did going to Perry.
  I have a good boy and I am very proud of him.  He's funny, witty, and very smart.  He's 6'4" and weighs about 250.  Sometimes I introduce him as my body guard.  He is what I call a gentle giant.  He likes to talk big but he has the heart of a teddy bear.  He stands up for what he believes in and what he thinks is right.

  When I look at him,  I see a mirror image of his daddy.  They are so much alike in looks, temperment and personality.  Neither one of them have the patience God gave a gnat.  They are so much alike that sometimes they just can't be in the same room together but 99% of the time they are best buds.
  Chris does not like to see his mama cry.  I am not ashamed to admit that I have exploited this over the years
especially when he was younger and I wanted him to do something or he was being bad and I wanted him to mind.  That trick really doesn't work anymore,  sometimes he just lets me think that it does.
  Now, don't get me wrong!  He is by no means perfect.  He is after all, a 17 year old boy.  He does have his moments.
  He told me one time that he when he settled down and started his own family, his wife would have to be a good cook.  He sd not being able to cook would be a deal breaker and that he knew his mama would always feed him and feed him well.