Dear Mama

  Dear Mama,

Last night I had a dream about you.  It was the first one since you died.  In my dream you asked me to buy you some clothes.  I told you that you could wait until payday I would buy you all the clothes you could want.
  Mama,  I have so much I want to say to you.  If you were here I would tell you that I love you with all my heart.  I would tell you that I am sorry that I wasn't a better daughter to you.  You see,  I thought that we had plenty of time to make things right between us but as it turns out we didn't.
  The day before you died,  I had you on my mind to call you.  I told myself that I would call you on the way home.  On my way home I told myself that I would call you when I got home.  When I got home I told myself that I would call you later that night.  Later that night I told myself that it was too late to call you and I would do it in the morning.  But in the morning I got the call that you were gone.  If I could go back to the day before that terrible day I would make sure that I called you.  What I would give now to hear your voice just one more time.
  Mama,  I am so sorry that  I let petty grievances come between us.  I let them rob us of a relationship.  While I know that there is two sides to every story,  I should have been the bigger person and just accepted things instead of shutting myself off from you.  I told myself that I was just protecting myself from unpleasantness.  And I guess that was true,  but all I did was cause you pain. For that I am truly sorry.
  I feel like that I had taken a closer look and interest in your life then maybe you would still be here. I could have helped you or at least got you the help you needed.
  Mama,  I hope and pray that you forgive me.  If you were here I woould ask your forgiveness everyday.  I would also tell you that I love you everyday.

I Love you MAMA,

Audra

I am going to post this because I want people to learn from my mistakes.  DON'T let petty grievances interfere with your relationships.  I learned this lesson in  very cruel way.  Whatever the relationship maybe - mama/daddy-daughter/son,  husband/wife, sister/brother-sister/brother,  the grievance is not worth the regret that comes later.  Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,  so make the most of today and tell the people that you love "I Love You"

Love
Audra
 

Just a lowly nurse!

 I am just a nurse,  a lowly nurse.  No I don't diagnos problems, don't prescribe medication,  don't do surgery and don't stitch people up ( although I can stitch someone up if I had to).
  Here is what I do!  I am the one that makes sure that the doctor has what she needs to take care of you.  I always try to be a step or two ahead of her.  She very rarely has to ask for something.  You see it's my job to anticipate her needs so that she can take care of yours.
  I am the one who worries about how you are going to pay for medication that your insurance won't cover.  I know where the free medications can be found, what programs are out there for you.  I spend countless hours on the phone with your insurance carrier begging and pleading on your behalf to get your medication covered for you.
  I am the one who makes sure that your tests are scheduled in an appropriate amount of time.  Again I spend alot of time with your insurance company getting that MRI that you just have to have done approved.  If you don't have insurance I can tell you the best place to go for the cheapest price.
  I am the one who draws your blood.  I look at your reports and if something is crucial I bring it your doctor's immediate attention.  I call you with your lab results after the doctor has reviewed them.
  I give you your shots,  I change your dressings,  I remove your sutures.staples.  I look at your rashes, sores, places that just don't look right to you.  I check your blood pressure and your urine.
  I take your phone calls and I listen to your complaints.  I make sure your refills are called in.
  I am the one that calls and schedules your appointments with the specialists.
  I am the one that gets to work early and I leave late.  I make sure everything is as it should be.  I mostly eat my lunch on the fly.  I am the one that comes to work sick, and in pain so that I can help take care of you.
  I am the one that worries about you after hours.
  I am just the Nurse!  I have been nursing for almost 25 years and I think I love it more today than I did when I started.  To me,  nursing is calling and not everyone is cut out for it.  Since I was 5 years old all I wanted to be was a nurse.  I have picked up a few things along the way and I am smarter than people think I am. 
  I am not complaining,  I just wanted you to know who I am.  I am not the doctor or even the nurse practioner,  I am the nurse.  I love my job and I love where I work and I love being able to help take care of you!
  I like to think I am good at what I do.
  I am more than a lowly nurse!