I am so in love!!!!!!!

  I just realized that I am so in love with someone I haven't even met yet.  Yeah, it's Butterbean.  Jessi had another ultrasound today and brought me a picture of her.  You can see her little face, oh I just want to shower it with kisses.  It just amazes me that someone who is not even completely made yet has already wrapped me around her tiny little fingers.  I see something and I say "Yep, Bean's gonna need that".  That is going to be one spoiled rotten little girl.  She already is!
  The name Butterbean came about before we knew that she was a girl.  I didn't want to call her "it" all the time and I told Jessi that she was no bigger than a butterbean at the time and it just kind of stuck.
  I am already planning all the fun we are going to have.  Strawberry pickin in the spring, blueberries in the summer.  Going to Brown's for peach icecream. Her chasing the kitties around the house and trying to use poor scoot has a pony. Telling secrets and making plans like best buds.  I want to be someone she will love to be around and will be excited about going to Mimi's house.  And of course don't forget the sweets!

  When Jessi first told me she was pregnant,  I was very apprehensive about it and expressed this to her but it took me about 5 minutes to get over it.  I'm still worried but why fight it, it's gonna be too much fun.

Animal Psych Ward

   Sometimes I think I run a mental hospital for animals.  All five of my animals have psych issues and I say this with love.
   Maggie, I think is bipolar with homocidal tendencies.  She's also very jealous.  She thinks that Ricky belongs only to her and she is out to get rid of me.  To her I am the "other" woman.  She is all the time running between my feet trying to trip me down.  I told Ricky that if I die in my sleep, look to Maggie.

  Scoot has PTSD.  You see, she had one set of puppies and hasn't been able to carry another set.  She wants so badly to be a mom.  She thinks that Smokey is her baby now ( at first she was afraid of him).  She even lets Smokey "nurse" on her.  Talk about disturbing!

  Monkey AKA Stoner Kitty has a drug addiction to catnip and abandonment issues.  When he was very small his mama got ran over by a four-wheeler.  The person that found him, gave him to Jessi and I was told "Oh yeah, he can eat moist cat food".  Poor baby was starving to death when I realized that he was only sucking the juice off of it.  Well, he has more than made up for that.  Monkey doesn't put his face in the water bowl,  he dips his paw in the water and drinks water off of it.  He will get next to a stuffed animal or blanket and start sucking on it and kneading it.

  Smokey has an identity issue,  he thinks that Scoot is his mama.  He tries to nurse off of her.  He will rub up against her until she lays on her side so that he can get to her boobs and will go to town.  Again, disturbing!

  Rocky has an eating disorder.  He wants to eat all the time.  Every time one of goes into the kitchen,  here comes meowing to get more food.  It doesn't matter if he has just ate, he wants to eat again.  If you have ever seen my animals,  they do not do without food.

  Well,  no matter what their issues are, they are my babies and I love them all.  When I get up in the mornings I tell them all good morning and all 5 get a scratch from me before I leave for the day!  They all seem happy to see me when I get home in the evening. Well except maybe Maggie ;).

  Ricky and I have an anniversary today!  We have been married for 22 years.  We are so blessed to have each other.  I love that man with every cell of my being.  Next to my children,  he's the single most important thing in my life.  I don't know what I would do without him.  He's my rock, my hero and my best friend.
  Like I have said before, it hasn't all been sunshine and roses.  But I wouldn't trade the rainy days for nothing in the world because you can't have flowers without rain and sunshine.  We don't have a perfect life but our imperfect life works for us.  Perfect is boring anyway.
  There are times when I want to chop his head off and I am more than sure that I have made him feel the same way.  He can be a little pigheaded and stubborn at times but that's I something that I love about him.
  We've been through alot in the last 22 years,  We've raised to beautiful children.  We've had some major storms that we have weathered.  We've lost everything and had to start over.  But we made it through together.
  Sometimes,  when I am having a bad day or things are just not going my way all I need is to just hear his voice and I know that everything will be ok.  You see, he's my knght in shining armor.  True his armor may be a little tarnished and we may have had to put down his noble stead but he still always saves my day.
  I love you RICKY HALL with all my heart plus some.  Here's to 42+ more years together.
 Love you Dude!

  Today, my baby girl turned 21.  It seems like yesterday we were bringing home from the hospital.  Time has just flown by.  Now, she is about to become a mom all on her own.  It just fills my heart to bursting.
  Jessi and I have had a some what tumultuous relationship over the past few years.  Some of that is my fault and I claim it.  My job was and still is being her mother.  That's number one on my list of priorities.  I don't think I failed in that area,  I just don't think I succeeded as well as I could have.  I have never been one to sugar-coat anything when it came to my kids.  I have never (nor will I ever) pretended I was happy with something they have decided just so they can feel good about it.  I'm sorry, I'm just not made that way. Both my kids know this about me and have resigned themselves to that fact..  Jessi has commented on the fact that I am brutally honest.  It's something they can always depend on.
  With that being said,  I will say that our relationship is headed in the right direction.  I feel that we are growing closer.  It was getting better before we found out about Butterbean,  but she has helped and she is not even here yet. I love my daughter and I think that she will make a great mom.  And I can't wait to get Butterbean in my arms.

 I love you Jessalina with all my  heart and more!!!!!

  

A HUMBLE FAN

   Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a very huge George Strait fan.  My favorite songs are "Amarillo By Morning", " The Chair", "Carrying your Love with Me", "Cross My Heart",  I mean the list is endless. It's hard to pinpoint just one that I like most out of all of them.  I would just listen to him if he just stood there and hummed.  He and I have breakfast most every morning on my way to work. He is just great.
  I love country music but I am not a big fan of today's country music.  I mean you just about cannot tell the difference between country and "POP".  I mean you are either one or the other.
  I grew up listening to '70's and '80's  music and that's what I like.  There is a station, 104.9, that plays that era of country music and I love it. 
  My niece, Taylor, got see George a few years ago.  I am still very jealous of that fact.  She took some pictures and she picked one out and told her mama that she wanted to give it to me.  I have it in my office at work right along with all the ones I have of my family, mixed right in. It's the one posted here.
  Well, enough of my ramblings for now.
  All Hail King George!!!

  My mama has been very much on my mind lately.  I mean I always have her on my mind but more so in the last few days.  I think it's because I have been going through pictures and have found some of her.  There are no words to describe how much I miss her.  I wish with all my heart I could her voice just one more time.  If God would give me just five minutes to talk to her, I would tell her how much I love her and how much I need her and how much I miss her.

  I have very fond memories of my mama from early childhood.  You see, I was an only child until I was 9 years old.  I was my mama's world and yes I was very spoiled. But all that changed one day when I came home from school and she asked me if I was ready for a brother.  I told her only if it was an indian brother.  There was this guy that went to our church that was a Native American Indian and he had 3 little boys about my age and I loved being around them.  So I thought if I was going to get a brother I may as well put my order in for an Indian brother.  Sounded logical to me.  But alas, she brought home a squirmy, wormy girl and she wasn't even an indian. (well technically she is, our daddy's grandmother was a full blooded cherokee). But long story short, I wasn't the center of my mama's world any more.  To my little 9 year old mind, she didn't have time for me any longer.  Then to make matters worse she had another one -  a another girl.still no indian brother. 
   I miss my mama.  She as a good mama.  Maybe not to everybody's standard, but to mine she was. She loved her family especially her grandchildren  She knew all of them except Katie Faye.  I bet she visits Katie in her dreams.

  I love you Mama and I miss you!!!
 HUGS AND KISSES!